Am i drowing?

These tidal waves of negativity are drowning me... It's so hard to watch everyone move on with their lives, swimmingly going along with their happy and exciting days... friends disappear, teachers forget about you and eventually you are left down in the gloomy lake and feeling like eroding away. I think one of the hardest things about struggling is watching everyone else get on and have smooth sailing times, then you have this blizzard of jealousy, because you so desperately want these cheerful moments which all your friends tell you about. The worse thing is just sitting there when people are explaining funny stories which have happened with a separate group of friends, you have waves of different perspectives... part of you wants to allow it and let them go because you should be glad that they are content and not drowning with the struggles you are going through, but part of you wants them back, you want them to look after you and create these amazing memories with you.

Even when writing this I received stories from friends explaining what a great day they've had, whilst I haven't had a good day and I'm only proud I've managed to make it out the flat just for a walk. Don't get me wrong I love hearing how happy people are, and what fantastic days they've had, but it makes you feel like you're drenched in depression, and adds to the suffocation of these deep struggles. If you're also struggling with downpour of pessimism, remind yourself that the rain will clear and a shower of positivity will eventually come your way